Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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