i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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