Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
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His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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