with your own penis?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
