If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
