no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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