Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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