I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I am naked and annoyed.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
