pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
