How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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