they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
