What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
