You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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