All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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