What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
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he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
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Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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