My nipple is on Facebook.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
accomplished twins. life is a go
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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