nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
