i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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