You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
It's rum buckets o'clock
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
