I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Text me some of your sweat
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