id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
