I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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