i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
