Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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