so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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