I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
