at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
