you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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