So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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