**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
