i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
