I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize