smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
