I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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