K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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