break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
babies were throwing up all over the place
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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