There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
