Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
