Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
