I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
