I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
