So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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