I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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