do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
