Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
