I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
God I need to hump something, right now.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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