All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
