Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
