Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much rum. So many feels.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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