M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
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