he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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