I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
