Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
