I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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