Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
