maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
