Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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