So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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