ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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