I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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