In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
