Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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