i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
