her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We left an ass print on the piano.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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